An important skill to learn in life is the ability to say “No,” and not feel guilty about it.  Pressure comes in all forms, and for the most part, it’s never ending.  When you’re my age it’s things like feeling the pressure to have the perfect job and own a house, or your family pressuring you to get married and have kids.  But when you’re young, the pressure usually revolves around trying to fit in and find acceptance among your peers.

This episode of DTV reminds me of my college days.  I don’t drink.  I’ve tried alcoholic drinks (no more than a few sips), but I’ve never consumed alcohol with the intention of getting buzzed or drunk, and I never will.  At that age when you tell people you don’t drink, strangers in particular take it as a challenge to try and get you to drink.  Never once have I felt guilty about turning down alcohol, because this is something I refuse to budge on.  I was lucky because my friends who drank were cool with it and never tried to force me into doing it.

While I didn’t succumb to peer pressure when it came to alcohol, I did often go out to parties when I didn’t really want to.  I’m not really the party type, but at the same time how would it look if you constantly kept turning down invitations to hang out with your friends?  As a teenager/young adult the party scene was one of those things I felt like I had to do whether I wanted to or not, but as an adult I don’t bother hiding my lack of interest in going to bars or things like that (social drinking is by far the most popular adult activity).  Personally, it feels weird sometimes because nondrinkers aren’t exactly viewed as “cool” or whatever, and it’s easy to feel left out when you’re not interested in something so many people take part in regularly.  But nowadays I simply can’t imagine being bored or miserable doing something I don’t want to do just for the sake of impressing everyone else.

It’s okay to say “No,” and it’s okay to do your own thing, even if you’re the only one doing it.

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Posted by Kary

6 Comments

  1. I didn’t have these problems because my parents were too strict. So I didn’t party in HS

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    1. Same here, I didn’t party in high school either. I lived a pretty sheltered childhood, so I’m glad I didn’t go buckwild when I went off to college lol.

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    2. Same here. Plus I only have 1 friend. We dont know anyone. I get sugar high not drunk. My high school was in the hood. No one cared about being popular. Plus I’m too lazy to go anywhere. Why leave when I got big ass

      TVs & a load a snacks & sprite here? I sit on my ass from 10AM till 2AM (minus my 5-7 nap). But in college. I threw my own stuff. I did a few wild things (banged my Math teachers daughter then got drunk as hell & woke up in

      Egypt waking up below a pyramid nude wearing a rainbow clown wig. I was in Detroit 1 day, in Africa the next. I never did find my clothes. I never had a curfew cus they knew I’m watching TV.

      & I love that Frankie is talking about this. At least she knew what’s right. BTW what’s her race? She is not all white. I’ve been trying to figure out her race for months.

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  2. I went to a all-girl high school, so I feel as though there was less pressure to do things to impress others, i.e. boys, at least among my circle. I hung out with art students, drama students, and the outsiders, and no one ever pressured anyone to smoke or drink or party. Because my friends’ parents trusted us, we never felt like we were doing something sneaky if we had some alcohol at their homes once in a while, so having a drink if we felt like it wasn’t some wild, rebellious act. We were the very picture of responsible. We’d try a bit, and then put it away.

    I then entered an art program in university, and hung out with a crowd that was pretty anti-partying. I’m still close with most of the people from my uni days, and to this day, our idea of “going out” is meeting up for brunch and then hitting a gallery, or playing croquet (my friend found a croquet set in a neighbour’s garbage and adopted it as his own) in the park. We might hit up a bar later in the evening to wind down, but no one ever drinks to excess. We pretty much all settle for a single, non-fussy drink each, and that’s it.

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  3. Wow. Like how she is talking about this because of her situation. She saw what was wrong unlike the other girls. That shows higher intelligence. As for the outfit? Uhhhh? Where’s the skirt & dress shirt. Love the red though. I was never

    Pressured into things. I ignore people. I dont even look at them. If they come closer I flip them. Only thing I never understood was when girls would smack me in my butt. Like WTF man?! Other than a new girl in S15 I’m sure once Zoe is

    Gone there’s no one to manipulate people. But I never did anything. Went to school then home.

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  4. Aleydis Sinclaire May 16, 2015 at 2:00 pm

    Thank you for writing this, Kary. I’ve got problems stitched into problems, but I feel like one of the hardest ones to deal with is learning to say “No” to people, and perhaps even myself, without feeling guilty. Learning to say “No,” period.

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