Adamo has finally launched the new series “Connecting The Dots” on his Youtube channel, which looks to talk with young adults about the issues affecting them today. This first episode discusses the topic of consent, which Degrassi also dealt with in the Next Class episode #YesMeansYes.
In theory, consent is an extremely simple concept. However, it’s forever complicated in our society by a variety of factors, a major one being that people aren’t necessarily taught about the actual application of consent in varying scenarios, let alone sex itself beyond the absolute bare basics of “No means no” and “use protection.”
When it comes to consent, I’ve been on both sides. I was basically terrified of girls growing up, and the first time I’d ever spent time with a girl alone didn’t happen until a year after I’d graduated college. I was getting mixed signals from her, and while today I know if they aren’t saying “Yes” they aren’t interested (regardless of what else they’re saying/doing), young Kary tried to be bold and kissed her (my first ever kiss, and it turns out it was hers too). Let’s just say that didn’t go over well…at all. That was 10 years ago and I’ve felt embarrassed ever since.
Last year, I found myself talking with this girl. I made it very clear several times that I had no interest in a relationship/hookup/anything romantic, but over the course of several weeks her messages became increasingly aggressive to the point where I had to stop talking to her (I tumbled about it).
The teens at Cawthra Park bring up a great point about how often learning about consent comes through headlines, personal experience and the experiences of those around you. I can’t ever recall a situation where anyone was like “Hey, let’s sit down and talk about this whole consent thing,” and I didn’t just magically wake up one day and know everything there was to know about it. But you’d better believe my own experiences and hearing stories from my female friends about dealing with sketchy male behavior have made me more consciously aware of my own behavior, and played an active role in shaping my opinions on consent.